The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated, we don't need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway, guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!!!"
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Q-How did Hellen Keller break her wrist?
A-Reading road signs
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress. Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says no love for the rich on it.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: *face palms self* Also officer: Here's you sign
Soliciters are more likely to harrass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I read a sign what it meant to say is you matter don't give up what I read was you don't matter give up
Put Hellen Keller in Gorge Floyd’s position. How is she cry out for help would she just moan or would she try to do sign language?
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge, "(sign language)"
Why does a deaf kid always like football he gets signed
