Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Sign Jokes
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
