Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.