Shotgun

Shotgun jokes

Nutshell

  • *Shotguns in a nutshell*

    2B: MUST.

    4B: ADD.

    6B: MORE.

    12B: *B A R R E L S*

    *And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*

  • 0
  • Story

  • True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

    The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

    Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

  • 3
  • Barrel

  • DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!

    Lancaster: Are you sure about that?

    DB: huh?

    Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!

    DB: WHAT!?

    Penta Barrel: I got 5!

    DB: *insert becoming uncanny*

    Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!

    The others: HOW!?

    *and that's how an argument started.*

    Day

  • I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

    Kurt Cobain's microphone.

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  • Kurt Cobain

  • Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

    His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

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  • Otter

  • How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

    Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

    Teacher

  • Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

    Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

  • 3
  • Blonde joke

  • A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

  • 1
  • Day

  • The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

    You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

  • 1
  • Blonde joke

  • A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

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  • Community talk

  • Well, it's the gut slingin' east-side demon creeping' out the crypt Squeeze the fruit of death, I let it bleed and drip right off my lips Creepin' through the woods, don't hide your family, bitch, it's time to dip I came to slit your throat you stupid pussy motherfuckin' bitch If you should die, before you wake, bitch, that's my soul to take You stay up late, I put your head up on a fuckin' stake So get it straight, … Read more

  • Are you gonna let me in? Hello? Hello?" 2:45 and the bell went off, thank God Many people think I'm odd But I talk with no one and I walk alone And I avoid sunlight with a chalky tone I get home and I don't say hi, it ain't no one there I don't care, I walk in and go right up the stairs To my room, get in bed, and just wait for dark Because that's when the real show starts Tap, tap on the glass go the piece of ass So… Read more