Shot jokes
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."