Shot Jokes

so once upon a time there was a man who lived in his house with his wife

he got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him

not even 4 seconds later he came back inside panicking, saying "there's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

the wife replied "oh don't worry rabbits don't have guns they can't shoot people- you must be imagining things"

the man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again

so he stepped outside the front door and the rabbit shot him

I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he'd be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.

A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”

are you a bullet cus *gets shot*

I bought a new shot gun the other day want to know what I called it? Kurt Cobain's microphone.

I was walking to the park and a mystery killed came and shot me 😥😥😥

yo hair line is as accurate as my jump shot

Doctor:I’m so srry sir but u only have a couple months left The sir:my children will be devastated Doctor:but I have a shot that can change that The sir:wat ever it takes Suppressed gunshots

so an emo shot themselves and so the detective decides to ask why. but it just goes in 1 ear and out the other.

Why is black mystery not an airhead flavor? Because we already know what happened to them *shot fires*

More cops died from covid than anything else last year hahahaha

They should have shot covid instead of Tyrone on the microphone lmfao

What did John say after someone shot his leg-

Oof

There once was a commie called Ed Usually known as Ned He went to bed Got shot in the head Unfortunately now he was dead

It’s raining it’s poring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

hey gwen... I had a freind named gwen in preschool. The preschool was cascade christian and in washington (wich is close to oragan, I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot but I think you might be the same gwen. if not, ok.

What happen when someone shot the Hulk? He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry