Shot jokes

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?

A. An ambulance.

Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

A: "It's me, Luigi!"

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

What do you call a cow that has been shot?

Holy cow!

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Stephen landed at Tilted and got 199 pumped, he's 1 shot!

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.

It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.

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Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.