Shot

Shot jokes

Dwarf

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the đŸ„ƒ, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

Auntie

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Karaoke

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Robbery

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

Memes

One

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

Ash

What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.

It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.

People

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

CEO

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

Job

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

Bar

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Doctor

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Shooting

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

Hitler

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.