Shorts jokes

"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"

"Claustrophobic!"

What do you call my friends?...

Short.

Life is like a penis. It is short.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

Who did a barber win a race?

He knew a short cut.

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣