My last best man's speech was like the marriage
Short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder in stead of being breastfeed because they are too short
This. This, is my class.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
*Me walk into the nail salon* Hi I'm here for my 3:45 appointment *nail tech* ok sweety come and sit down *Me sits down in the chair* *nail tech* you want long nail short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. ok. *gives me short nail* bro I asked for long nail. But you said bf but u look lesbian* walks out without paying* *nail tech gives money to a customer* there u win. *customer* I told u she would
I tell short people to reach for the stars
They are always a bit short of reach
Your so short, when it rains your the last one to know
If you drop something make your short friend get it
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school? Because they never get picked
I asked my dad, "are we there yet" and he told me "don't worry son it will be a short ride"
Shorts go up,Pants go down Body to Body, Skin to Skin When its sniff, Stick it in It goes in dry and comes out wet And the longer its in the stronger it gets it comes out dripping and starts to sag
Its not what you think it is its a LIPTON TEA BAG
Get your mind together
A man was walking home but felt tired so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap tap then out of the corner of his eye he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone the man said "you scared me I thought you were a ghost" the other person mumbled "they spelt my name wrong"
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.. Me: Sorry mate it's so short get a longer one 🤣
Who ever is reading this I hope you have good day because I feel bad your so short
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"
Life is to short, just like me. Get roasted short people.
