Shorts jokes

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Who did a barber win a race?

He knew a short cut.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"