My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
This. This is my class.
[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
