Shorts

Shorts jokes

Marriage

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

Mama

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

Friend

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

Memes

Dwarf

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Class

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)

Dick

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

Nail

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

People

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

Titanic

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Orphan

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

Tombstone

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Password

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

Reader

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

Cop

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"