Shorts jokes
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.