Short jokes
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!