Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Short Jokes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
