Short jokes
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?