Short jokes
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.