Short jokes
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.