Short jokes
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.