What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
Short Jokes
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
If you read this, you lost your v card.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
