Short jokes

Short jokes

Song

What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

"I'm Still Standing."

Titanic

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

Pilot

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Missile

Just told Putin to get some b*tches.

Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.

Lie

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Movie

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Mask

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Orphan

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

Boy Scout

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Difference

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...