Short jokes
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.
I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Let's have toast in the bath.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
My sad ass life.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.