Short jokes
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.
I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.
The belt broke.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.