Short jokes
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.