Short jokes
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Messi isn't as rich as Ronaldo. He cannot afford a Lamborghini.
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
Hi huuuuuy.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
Jobs,
50 shapes head.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.