Short jokes
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
RIP Harambe.