Short jokes
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.