Short jokes
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!