Short jokes
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?
A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.