Short jokes
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
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Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.