Short jokes
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.