Short jokes
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.