Short jokes
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.