Short jokes
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
User name is Nico Belick.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Join the Kahoot!
9270442
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
Ashten Parkes
"Sharing is communism."