Short jokes
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.