Short jokes
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
What brings kids to school every day?
A school bus 🚌.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!