Short jokes
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
What's 1 + 1?
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.