Short jokes
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.