Short jokes
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
"Alexa, open Kahoot!"
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.