Short jokes
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
George Floyd was in a TV show, "Fresh Prince of no hair."
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.