Short jokes
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.