Short jokes
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
"Alexa, open Kahoot!"
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.