Short jokes
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
What is the most gangster paper?
Rapping paper.
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
9/11.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.