Short jokes
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.