Short jokes
Hi, Larry.
Bye, Larry.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I have a body count of 7.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Fight in the comments.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
I put the D in Children.