Short jokes
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Sam Mensah!
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Ben Inkster, more like gay.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.