Short jokes
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
My sad ass life.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?
“Kakuna Rattata!”
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.