Short jokes

Short jokes

Stalker

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

Penis

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Orphan

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

Kid

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Song

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

Steak

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

Gender

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

Orphan

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

Emo

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

Hairline

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

Prank

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance šŸ•ŗ šŸ˜… joke is good ok for kids."

Pothead

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Dick

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

Jesus

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.