Short jokes
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What's better than poo?
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?
They never land.
Just like the planes.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.