Short jokes
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.