Short jokes
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!