Short jokes
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.