Short jokes
TommyInnit is a joke.
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.