Short jokes
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Mushroom?
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
Why did the boy put a chicken đ in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. đ
Why canât orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because theyâre fucking assholes.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Bomb.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Why donât some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships donât work out.
Whatâs the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.