Short jokes
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...