Short jokes
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
A baby seal walked into a club.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.