Short jokes
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Earth is full. Go home!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What color is your Bugatti?
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!