Short jokes
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!