Short jokes
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.