Short jokes
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.