Short jokes
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
A baby seal walked into a club.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.