Short jokes
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.