Short jokes
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Did you?
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."