Short jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
Joke start.
Punchline!
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Hehe.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."