Short jokes

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

Rizz.

Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?

JENGA!!!!

How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?

3 shots.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.