Short jokes
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."