Short jokes
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️