Short jokes

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.

These jokes are so dark that their life matters.

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Q: What's black, white and red all over?

A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.

when is rape wrong on so many levels?

inside a lift.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.