Short jokes
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.