Short jokes
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What if your Corona test is neutral?
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.