Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Short Jokes
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
