Short jokes
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
Mooning is very astrological!
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.