Short jokes

Short jokes

Baby

What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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  • Coffin

    What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

    Stephen Hawking's coffin.

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  • Sex

    He: "Do you smoke after sex?"

    She: "I don't know. I've never looked."

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  • Buttcheek

    What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

    "Keep this shit between you and me."

    Game

    "I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)

    Cannibal

    A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

    Girlfriend

    So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

    Grandpa

    When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

    Friend

    My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"