Short jokes
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.