Short jokes
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.