Short jokes
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What do plus a pee and a nut... Nut pees, wait, pee nuts.