Short jokes
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.