Short jokes
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.