You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
Short Jokes
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
