Short jokes
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses