Short jokes
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
I hate myself.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.