Leash jokes
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.