Vegans jokes
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
Save the plants, eat a vegan.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."