Short jokes
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...