Short jokes

What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?

A to-go order.

Sister: "Has anyone seen my clothes?"

Brother: "They're still in my bed."

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

I think one of my dads might be gay.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

Why don't Indians like snow?

Because it's white all over their land.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.

It’s all about execution.

My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.