Short jokes
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.