Short jokes
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.