Short jokes

Why did the carrot roll down the hill?

Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.

America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.

kys

Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

What car does Hitler drive?

A Fuhrerri.

Mooning is very astrological!

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.

What do you call a short black person?

By their name, you racist!

What is the hardest part of twerking?

Being black.

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."

Orphan: And I took that, personally.