Short jokes
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.