Short jokes

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

What is boring? Talking about boring things.

What do tigers wear in the winter?

A striped sweater.

I like turtles.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

I hate when my brother dates other people.

Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵

Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?

Because they'll cause a car crash.

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.