Short jokes
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨