Short jokes
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.