Short jokes
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
"Watersharky, don't leave the site."
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.