Short jokes
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.