Short jokes
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.