Short jokes
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.