Short jokes
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!