Short jokes
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.