Short jokes
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
How do mountains see? They peek.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Fennec users lmao.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.