Short jokes
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.