Short jokes
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.