Short jokes
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
I don't know, I don't have one.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.