Short jokes
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
John
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.