Short jokes
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?