They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Short Jokes
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
John
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
