Short jokes
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.