Short jokes
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?
I fucking love Triple H and Jimmy Wang Yang!
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
He might have been a Fortnite player. Respect him.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!