Short jokes
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
How do mountains see? They peek.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Here comes the airplane.
9/11 happens the next day.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
The F in orphans stands for family...
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.