Short jokes
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.