Short jokes
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.