Short jokes
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
Why is the rum gone?
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.