Short jokes
Trevor Bauer for President.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
My dad coming back.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football