Short jokes
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.