Short jokes
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"