Short jokes
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"