Short jokes
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?