Short jokes
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Stop the orphan jokes!
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Two sticks only make a fire.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!