Short jokes
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?