Short jokes

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

- A VEGUN.

Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.

Dad: What's boofa?

Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?

A: It rises every morning.

A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

How do fish get to school?

By the octobus.

What is a pedophile's favorite job?

The mall santa.

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Logan Paul left him hanging.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary and those that don't.

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.