Short jokes
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.