Short jokes
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!