Short jokes
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣