Short jokes
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
America.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.