Short jokes

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.

What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

"Most Deadly Sport"

Playing chicken with a train!

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

There is a feminist group in my town.

It is called Gal-Qaeda.

(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

Why did the bee buzz off?

Because he had to bee somewhere.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?

One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

What song genre do the national anthems fit into?

Country.

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...