Short jokes
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.