Short jokes
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
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How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.