Short jokes
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
"Stop bullying me!"
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Why am I idiot?
Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
I am bored. Hey, Gwen, want to chat?
What fruit loves rollercoasters the most?
A kiwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.