Short jokes
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
I like Cheetos.