Short jokes
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
I like Cheetos.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Where do otters come from? Otter space.