what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
Short Jokes
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
