Short jokes
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
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How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.