Short jokes
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.