Short jokes
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.