Short jokes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.