Short jokes
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Get up, you lazybones!
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
I stole one's balls.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.