Short jokes
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
I don't have luck with other angels.
So I just WING IT!
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.