Short jokes
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂