Short jokes
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Women.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.