I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Short Jokes
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
