Short jokes
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"