Short jokes
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
"Hey babe!"
Why were the Twin Towers made on 9/11? They ordered pepperoni pizza but got plane.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
din mamma
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.