Short jokes

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him.

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"

What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?

Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."

Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!

Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?

He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.

Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.

Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.

I stole one's balls.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!