Short jokes
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!