Short jokes

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Happiness.

Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.

what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?

Answer: alive.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.

Why did Joey drop his ice cream?

He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?

They both died at 95.

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.