Short jokes
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.