Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Short Jokes
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
