Short jokes
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!