Short jokes
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.