Short jokes
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.