Short jokes
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!