Short jokes
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.