Short jokes
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Rust in peace.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.