Short jokes
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.